Those darn tight jeans, i tend to scratch mine

Hey jacklpe!

I heard u serve from bourbon to milk, so i like to order an exotic drink......................One gls of breast milk please

And im not even going to ask u how u got it

Jacob10000 wrote: Us "rednecks" play "horse shoes" don't mess around with the balls much.

Rednecks, No we don't. BUT! Redneckets that a different story.

Jacklpe wrote: ICE
BANK
MICE
ELF

Say it out loud.

I also found this very funny PML.

Welcome Gina Bandit, very glad you found the jolly Roger. What can I get you?
Just cooked some fine cakes I'd anyone is interested.
And if anyone wants anything eles just ask.


And lads please be carefull playing with them horse shoes, they will hurt if you through them why drunk! I think I'll stay inside just to be on the safe side, ohh there is a first aid box here if anyone needs it.

yakuza wrote: Hey jacklpe!

I heard u serve from bourbon to milk, so i like to order an exotic drink......................One gls of breast milk please

And im not even going to ask u how u got it

The proud mother says moo. I'd say something about being specific, but really, you probably shouldn't. I did hear there is a place in the UK that makes ice cream out of the type you were probably referring to. Thanks, but no thanks.

Dixieconfederate wrote: Nah who needs to write it down. I will just suspiciously pull my truck up to the door and load all of your inventory in it and then start me own bar across the street and hope nobody notices i took inventory.

There is a reason that we feel so comfy "trusting" all of our good friends and neighbors around here. Things like that earn folks an all expense paid cruise to Shanghai on our fine luxury liner the JR Trixie.

Did I hear a toast, my dear friends
Come raise your glass, now we drain it
Take it piano, no but
Hey you!, drop the worries, check it late
So raise your glass
Did I hear a toast!

Here have this old thing, it should fit in the corner ok!

Jacob10000 wrote: Us "rednecks" play "horse shoes" don't mess around with the balls much.

I've got a Shove Halfpenny board the pub can have. Just needs some chalk dust and some coins.







EDIT: Pour me something tall and strong, ill crank up the Duke Box, here's one Parrot can have for free lol


Been on some long games recently, right old epics, late on for me. The wife is starting to dish out the 'look'! I know I can only hold out for so long before the Dent occurrence happens. It's tough leaving half way through a game but its a matter of life and death sometimes lol
EDIT EDIT: cheers all!

I absolutely love old upright grand pianos. They are pretty rare these days. They always have a very unique sound. As far as a halfpenny board, someone's gonna have to clue me in as to how to play.

Here's the rules for shove halfpenny

The Game

Each player shoves five coins up the board in each turn. To prepare each coin to be pushed, the player positions the Ha'penny at the front of the board with the rear of the coin just sticking over the front edge of the board. Any part of the hand can then be used to shove the coin up the board. If a coin does not actually reach the first line on the board, that coin does not count as having been played and can be shoved again.

At the end of the turn each coin that is completely within a 'bed' (between two horizontal lines and within the bordering vertical lines) scores a point for that player in that bed. The points are scored with chalk marks in the squares at either end of the bed on the edge of the board, one player owning the right side, the other, the left. The aim is to get three chalk marks in each of the squares - three scores in each of the nine beds. However, once three scores have been made in a bed, any further scores in that bed will be given to the opponent instead, unless the opponent already has three scores in the bed. The one exception to this is the winning point which must be scored properly by the winning player, not given away.

Good players will attempt to cause a coin to knock onto one or more previously pushed ha'pennies in an effort to improve their position as well as trying to make a score with the Ha'penny being played. A little thought is also required - it is not usually a good move to score the third coin in a bed until towards the end of a game....

I shall have a "shove halfpenny" board soon. Might even buy some of the correct coins to play it with.

I probably better stick to ping pong, pool, poker, and spades.

Spades!!! I bid nil...

How 'bout a game of Seargent Major or Whist?

.....so...this game of "Shove It" is shuffle board for drunk guys to get someone in bed to score only to lose them to the opponent? Aren't there hurt feelings?
Are feather boas part of the uniform? I just read that this was one of Liberace's favorite games.

Since it's mostly guys here....mmmmm.
I think I'll just watch.....

What's next? A game of "Spank the Moose"?

I need coffee...extra caffeine, please.

Paul Mantz, Jr. wrote: .....so...this game of "Shove It" is shuffle board for drunk guys to get someone in bed to score only to lose them to the opponent? Aren't there hurt feelings?
Are feather boas part of the uniform? I just read that this was one of Liberace's favorite games.

Since it's mostly guys here....mmmmm.
I think I'll just watch.....

What's next? A game of "Spank the Moose"?

I need coffee...extra caffeine, please.

Spank the moose!!!!!

That's the funniest thing I've heard or read in at least the last 24 hours!!

Poker,,, I need the money

How do you play this "Poker"? It sounds neat! You might have to teach me a little!

I'd be HAPPY to teach EVERYTHING you NEED to know about the game

The band sounds good tonight....

Why Thank You! You are sooo generous! I'm sure with a little patience you will have me playing in no time!

That's right. Ill even start you out chep. We'll only use the $10 bills to start....

Ouch! Those will be expensive lessons!

Naaaa, you won't even notice it.

Can I play cards with you guys?

Sure Paul I'm starting him out low so you only need $10 bills, but you may want bring a bunch u/no so you can stay in long enough to get the hang of it.

Okay I'm getting nervous


I'm looking around the room and I'm not seeing THAT guy.

Oh I'm here, Im in the corner watching you

From my experience, you'll never see me....until it's too late.
And, I just looked at the new boat you guys will be buying for me.....